Birthday reflection

Every year for the past 25 or so years on my birthday, my dad calls me and tells me the story of my birth. As he tells it, my mother didn't even wake him up until she'd been in labor for a few hours. And at that point, he started running around like a chicken with its head cut off while my mother remained utterly calm. At about 7:30, they took off for the hospital. I was in such a hurry to be born that after only a few big pushes, I came out like a rocket. Apparently the doctor said if his hands hadn't been there, I'd have ended up on the floor. My dad cut the umbilical cord, and there I was. His first kid.

My dad's reaction to my birth has always been that it was a life changing moment for him. This year, there was a bit of a twist to the usual story. Echoing a thought that had been running through my own head all day, he talked about how today is my last birthday before becoming a parent. Obviously, it means something different for the two of us. For me, it signals the last year I can indulge in my birthday, when I can pretend to be the most important person on this day. Granted, my birthday was rendered useless for the most part after I hit 18, with the exception of some of the landmark birthdays - 21, 25, and 30 were all definite ME days. But otherwise, it's typically just another day on the calendar.

For my dad, today is something of a rite of passage. The last birthday his first daughter will be just his daughter. Next year at this time, I will be his daughter, he will be my father. But we will also be a mother and a grandfather. Two whole new identities that are both completely new to each of us. He said, "I would love to be there for your baby's birth. But it's OK if I'm not. This belongs to you and M. I have to let go, now. You're becoming the parent, now."

This is all true, of course. My dad will always be my dad, and I'll always be his daughter. But with "mother" and "grandpa" looming on the horizon, things will change. And to be honest, I think these things will change for the better. My dad hasn't always had the greatest life. But he swears that my half-sister and I are two of the best things he ever had a hand in. I'm looking forward to understanding the part of his life that has made him happy and proud consistently through the years I've known him.