Goodbye, Montana

Most of you know I moved to Massachusetts from Billings, Montana nearly 10 years ago. At the time, I left thinking that someday I'd probably go back "home" to live there permanently. I grew up there; many of my dearest friends were there; and, most importantly, my mother was there. Through the ensuing years, a lot has changed. I've really made a home and a life for myself in Massachusetts. I got married to M, we bought a house, got a dog. And now we have Fiona. I spent my most formative growing-up years in MT, but I've really become an adult in MA. Even so, Montana has always been what I think of when someone says "hometown."

As of today, my most important link to Montana is gone. My mother, untethered by marriage, mortgage, or job, packed as many of her belongings as would fit into her sparkly red convertible Mustang and hit the road. As I write this, she's making her way to the sunnier climes of Phoenix, Arizona, where she plans to live for the duration.

I can't blame my mom. In fact, I'm really psyched for her. After all, I had my own similar adventure when I moved here, and clearly it has worked out. But I'm sad, too. Montana has always been one of the main characters in my life story, and having a home base there was a significant comfort. I always knew that if, for some reason, things didn't work out so well here, there was always Montana... there was always "home."

I'm fortunate to have my own little family, though. M and Fiona, along with the animals, our friends, and our lives here are my real home now. And I still have a few lovely friends back in Montana to be my home base (they probably won't put us all up for weeks at a time, and cook for us, and generally host us like my mom would have... although perhaps now is the time to ask). It's just going to be weird to go back to Montana as a pure visitor, not as someone who "sort of lives here" by virtue of her mother's residence.

To be sure, M, Fiona and I will all take the long trip one day so I can have the pleasure of showing my daughter where I grew up, where I went to school, where I played and had friends. All around my favorite places in Billings - the sandstone cliffs that line the northern part of the city known as the rimrocks; the downtown area; the mall where I spent countless hours of my pre-teen years. And we'll all go to my favorite places around the state, too - Beartooth Pass, Yellowstone National Park, Cooke City, Bozeman, Missoula, and Fairmont Hot Springs. I do love that state. And who knows? Maybe someday my new little family and I will go back there to stay.