The Name Game

As any pregnant woman will tell you, the first question she always gets when someone learns she is pregnant (or the protruding belly is so obvious there's no way it's simple weight gain) is "When are you due?" The next two questions will inevitably follow, and almost always in this order:

"Do you know what the gender is?"
and, my favorite,
"Do you have a name picked out?"

In our case, we don't. We're testing out a list of four A-list names and four B-list names (ones we're not entirely sold on). We're taking each name and using it for a full week whenever we are referring to Weeble. We probably won't make our final decision on what it is until she's born and we've all been properly introduced. But it's nice to be able to try names out, even if we don't do it in public. We're one of those annoying couples who refuse to share the names, or even the potential list, with anyone else. It's our one last secret.

Thankfully, this policy didn't prevent one of my dear friends from providing a list of "suggestions." She's more or less settled on her favorite (Metallica - perfect for a girl or boy!), but I thought there were some other gems in there that are worth our consideration:

Aphrodesiac - Lovely, but this is how we got into this mess in the first place. I think no.
Bedonkadonk - Also what got us into this mess (as in, my awesome bedonkadonk that M simply couldn't resist).
Diamonique - Now this one has merit. Not only do I love diamonique jewelry, it's just so pretty as a name!
Filistina - Fine, but she'll inevitably end up with the very pedestrian "Tina."
Gayna - Isn't this the woman who sang that song, "I Will Survive"? Sure, Gloria Gayna.
Hambonia - Isn't this a region in Germany?
Iphagania - Pretty sure this is an itchy condition of the nether regions. No thanks.
Jean-Bobby - The 50s called - they want their crappy hyphenated, gender-neutral name back.
Lambycakes - I can totally see our kid going through life with this name being totally respected by men and non-strip club-oriented employers.
Rusty - I think not. I had a boyfriend in 9th grade for about 10 minutes named Rusty. His mother called the cops on me when two friends and I were breaking and entering a school. That bitch. How could she? Of course, this was on Mother's Day. Yep, I got brought home by the cops for breaking and entering on Mother's Day. This is not a memory I cherish (although I'm certain my mother does).
Shaniqua - As if every other baby girl being born these days isn't named Shaniqua already.
Tamborino - Built-in circus stage name! "The Great Tamborina will now thrill you with her daredevil antics high above the rings!!!"
Uvula - Mulva?
Xyla - Well, at least it's unique.
Yummy - No, I'd rather not tempt anyone inclined to snack on children.

OK, so they're not all winners. But I think, in the end, we'll end up with something a bit more on the traditional side. Like Thelma or Myrtle. Either way, we'll all know for sure when she's born. And that's only 7 weeks from now (give or take).